top of page
Surreal Flower



Narcissistic abuse is very specific type of abuse - as is the road to recovery. 

What sets Narcissistic abuse apart is the intentional construction of a false perception of someone else’s reality by an abuser for the purposes of controlling their target. Specific attributes include:

  • The false reality is constructed through elaborate, consistent covert deception and psychological manipulation over a period of time;

  • The false perceptions created are of the abuser as someone who has the target’s best interests at heart and of the relationship as a beneficial one for the target.

  • The goal of the abuse is to allow the narcissist to extract whatever they perceive is of value from the target: attention, admiration, status, love, sex, money, a place to stay or other resources. This is coined "narcissistic supply".

  • The abuser takes advantage of societal norms that assume everyone participates in social relationships with a basic level of empathy; this makes it easy for them to convince the target (and everyone else) that no abuse is taking place.

  • Because the abuse is “hidden” using deception, it is difficult for survivors to recognize, understand, and escape.

This definition describes the overall mechanisms that explain how narcissistic abuse is distinct from other forms of abuse and why it is so harmful. The foundation is deception.

I'm not a psychotherapist and have no intention of diagnosing anybody as a narcissist. Anyone who has experienced this abuse will have a long list of hurts and deceptions - and focusing on that keeps us stuck. The gold is in looking at ourselves, learning our patterns that make us vulnerable to this type of abuse, and more importantly healing from this for good.

This work is close to my heart because I've had more experience with this than I ever bargained for. The biggest kicker is that if we don't do the healing work, we tend to attract another version of the same person, who often inflicts more damage than their predecessor.


I'm looking forward to being able to offer this work. Please stay tuned - my certification is in progress.

bottom of page